Ms. Román, what happens in relationships when the first child is born?
Olatz Román: According to our research, individuals experience a substantial decline in how
they evaluate the quality of their relationship after becoming parents. This decline persists
for at least seven years after the first child is born. What may come as a surprise, we find
that women and men are affected equally. Couples that make larger changes to how they
share professional and household tasks, experience a larger decrease in relationship
quality, we find. Our results are based on the answers of 1,760 individuals in the United
Kingdom, interviewed every other year over a period of 13 years.
According to your findings, why does the quality of relationships suffer after the birth of
the first child?
Olatz Román: The arrival of children increases the demands on couples, with additional
childcare responsibilities and housework. These new tasks are often borne by women at the
expense of their jobs, while men take on a larger share of paid work. Before childbirth,
couples, and especially women, underestimate these effects. Unexpected changes may
place strain on relationships, our findings suggest. Having said that, children increase
overall happiness. Yet, the impact on the perceived relationship quality is negative.
What can couples do to protect their relationship before and after having a child?
Olatz Román: Being aware of the necessary adjustments in advance may help couples
prepare, communicate, and have a more balanced division of responsibilities in place
before the child is born. Our research suggests that a more egalitarian distribution of tasks
– which is upheld after the child is born – is associated with a smaller decline in relationship
quality.
How can policymakers help parents to preserve the quality of their relationship?
Olatz Román: Many existing policies, such as parental leave reforms and subsidized
childcare, aim to improve the career prospects, particularly for mothers. These are valuable
goals on their own. Our results suggest that such policies may also help mitigate the
negative impact of parenthood on relationship quality as they promote a more equitable
division of household responsibilities.